Tuesday, December 19, 2023

An English couple, a Ukrainian Surrogate and a Baby: the Extraordinary Story of How War United Two Unlikely Families

A powerful story of how the war in Ukraine forced a surrogate mother into living with her baby’s biological parents. Williams documents the history of the two mothers, highlighting the different worlds they came from, and does not shy away from showing the difficulties of two families unexpectedly ending up under the same roof. What is incredible is that post-birth, they are all still there.

Between the surrogate and the intended parent there is a peculiar bond. “They’re doing this life-changing thing for you and receiving a life-changing amount of money in return,” Dorothy often says. The position suggests equality, but it is a fine balance, dependant in part on distance. Now the war was about to uncouple them from the organisational rules that kept them apart.

Dorothy found Anastasia on Facebook. The agency had told couples not to contact their surrogate on social media, and vice versa, for mutual protection against, say, surrogates asking for more money, and intended parents suggesting diet and exercise regimes. But some couples still snooped on their surrogates, scouring Facebook and Instagram for evidence of smoking or drinking. On the afternoon of 24 February, Dorothy sent Anastasia a supportive message: “I hope you don’t mind me contacting you. I just want you to know we’re thinking of you and hope you and your son are OK. If there is anything we can do, please let us know.”



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