Tuesday, January 10, 2023

Trying to Stay Awake

The late Jenny Diski explores sleep and the childhood pleasure she took in prolonging the precipice of sleep, that liminal space between wakefulness and coveted slumber.

Actually, my speciality is not sleep itself, but the hinterland of sleep, the point of entry to unconsciousness.

One of my earliest memories of sensual pleasure (though there must have been earlier, watery ones) is of lying on my stomach in bed, the bedtime story told, lights out (not the hall, leave the door open, no, more than that), the eiderdown heavy and over my head, my face in the pillow, adjusted so that I had just enough air to breathe. I recall how acutely aware I was of being perfectly physically comfortable, as heimlich as I ever had been or ever would be, and no small part of the comfort was the delicious prospect of falling slowly into sleep. Drifting off. Moving off, away, out of mindfulness. Leaving behind.



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